Happy Wednesday, friends and welcome back! Today I’m back with another post in my ‘Wedding Wednesday’ series and were talking all about how to pick your perfect “I Do” crew…that was cheesy, I know! Despite the cheesy nature, picking your bridal party can be both fun and tough. Making sure you have the right girls (or guys) to stand beside you during your big day is critical; after all, they’re the ones that are going to keep you from jumping off the ledge when things get stressful. While there are no “rules” when it comes to picking your squad; I thought I would share some of the tips and tricks that helped me to feel secure in my decision!
Also, this goes without saying, but pick whoever you’re comfortable with. If you think everything I mention below is irrelevant and stupid, by all means, ignore my advice – lol. Just make sure you think long and hard about who you want standing beside you; after all, you deserve the BEST squad! 🙂 <3
1. THINK BEFORE YOU ASK
While asking someone to be a bridesmaid is emotional and super exciting, remember that once you ask, there’s no turning back. I mean, I guess you could turn back, but there is a strong possibility you could ruin/lose that friendship! I would give yourself a month or so to REALLY mull over the options to ensure that you’re asking the right people. Think about the girls (and guys) you can’t live without and ask yourself “will I still be friends with this person in 5 years?” If the answer is YES, then I think they’re a great option.
2. INCLUDE SIBLINGS
Barring any crazy bad blood, I think it’s important to include your siblings as well as your future spouse’s siblings. Typically these are the people that have seen you at your best, your worst and everything in between. They champion you when you don’t deserve it and only want to see you happy. Even if you aren’t super close right now, chances are they’re still gonna be around come your 10 year wedding anniversary. If being a bridesmaid isn’t in an option, consider including them in other ways: i.e., junior bridesmaids, ushers, specific tasks to handle, etc. While it may seem silly or feel like too much to think about in the moment, looking back and wishing you had included them in your special day is something you can’t change and might regret for years to come.
3. SET EXPECTATIONS EARLY…
….for yourself and your bridesmaids. If there are specific things you expect your girls (or guys) to participate in and/or facilitate (showers, bachelor parties, etc.), I think it’s best to let them know up front. I’m not saying you have to have EVERYTHING figured out, but a loose blueprint is always helpful. For instance, if you are requiring your girls to have their hair and makeup professionally done, that’s something that should be established ASAP. Weddings are expensive and sometimes I think brides get so caught up in this picture perfect moment that they forget to consider how their requests will impact everyone else involved. I want my girls to stand beside me, have a good time and enjoy the process; I don’t want to them to be stressed about the possibility of having to attend multiple bridal showers and endless parties on top of the financial burden that weddings can create. There is a way to establish expectations while also considering everyone else’s lives (and feelings) outside of your big day.
4. RESPONSIBLE SQUAD??
I cannot stress this enough; pick bridesmaids that are reliable and responsible. There is nothing worse than asking someone to be a bridesmaid, maid of honor, etc., thinking that they will show up and show out, only to realize that they perpetually drop the ball. When gathering and deciding on your core group of girls, make sure they are trustworthy, loyal and responsible. Weddings are overly stressful (at times), you need people that will lift you up and show up when they say they will; not pitch a fit, drop the ball and leave you with an unfinished mess.
5. DON’T ASK SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE THEY ASKED YOU
Despite what you may think, you don’t have to ask someone to be in your wedding just because they asked you. That college roommate you haven’t spoken to in 10 years outside of the obligatory “happy birthday” Facebook post, doesn’t need to be a bridesmaid. If you were a bridesmaid 5 years ago and have since drifted apart from the bride, it’s okay to leave them out. If they want to talk about why, be honest; there’s nothing wrong with wanting your (current) best girls to stand beside you during this time.
6. YOU DON’T HAVE TO INCLUDE KIDS
Ring bearers and flower girls are super cute, especially in photos; however, if you and your fiancé don’t feel particularly close to any of the kids in (or out) your family, don’t feel obligated to fill that “role.” And if you have 6 kids you want to include, by all means, DO IT! You can fill one role, two roles or create five different roles; whatever feels good to you is what you should do! <3 Personally David and I have the cutest little peanut to be our ring bearer but don’t really have anyone in mind for flower girl responsibilities, and I’m okay with that! As long as you’re doing what you feel is best, everything will be perfect! <3
I hope you guys enjoyed this post and that some of you found it helpful! I know finding the right bride squad can be stressful, but just remember, these girls are here to lift you up and help you throughout this process! Take advantage of the time you get to spend with them and cherish the memories you make!
Until next time,